Thoughts for Thursday: Dwelling on the Negative

by Katie Bock

Ever notice that when we get hurt or when something doesn’t go our way we feel that negativity so strongly and it sits on our heart much longer then all the positive moments life has brought?  We as human hold on so tightly to hurt, to what has gone wrong and then we forget all the good that has been and is right now.  It’s called dwelling.  Dwelling on the hurt, the negativity instead of seeing what’s real.  This is hardening our hearts and keeping us from seeing all the light around us. 

Everything ebbs and flows; there will always be ups and downs in life, in relationships.  Its up to you to balance it, to remember the good with the bad.  You see if we just sit in the hurt, the negativity we miss out on all the beauty, all the love that is real and in front of us. 

Just the other day I was driving and Grandma got run over by a Reindeer came on the radio.  As I heard this song it brought back to me several memories of playing and laughing with my dad.  Memories I had hidden away because I was so strongly focusing on the hurt I had felt from him instead of remembering all the great moments I had with him as my dad.  And in that moment I had realized, how lucky I was to be surrounded by love and how grateful I was that my dad was my dad.  You see even in being hurt by him, I had still grown, I had learned and when I allowed myself to step out of the hurt I remembered all the beautiful memories of that relationship.  And a weight was lifted.  Almost as though I could accept the relationship for where it was because I remember all thing are a balance. 

Anyone of us can sit in that darkness consciously or unconsciously, we can also choose to remember the good with the bad.  It’s your story to create.  It is all too often we dwell on what’s gone wrong, we dwell on the hurt we feel, we forget the journey and focus on that one moment of negativity.  Let that shift so you see and feel all the moments good and bad.  Stop holding out on yourself and let life be as it is a roller coaster ride.  The ups and downs, the ebbs and flows are the pieces that create our journey, the lessons that help us grow, the building blocks of relationships and the moments that form our life.  Let yourself remember the ups and the downs, stop dwelling solely on the negative and invite back the positive. 

What does Forest Gump say…

“Life’s like a box of chocolates you never know what you gone get.”

Forest was spot on you never know what life will hold.  What we do know is its up to us to create our story so remember not to dwell, instead to live, to breathe, to experience ups and downs and find gratitude through it all.  It’s the gratitude that helps you remember the positive. 


Katie Bell


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